bother seeking sex with friends
DAILY BRUIN ONLINE
Monday, November 20, 2000
I'm responding to
Brendan Nemeth-Brown's column, "Women shouldn't rule out
male pals for dating" (Daily Bruin,
Viewpoint, Nov. 15). Women will never be able to have
sexual relationships with their male friends unless
they can release the idea that those men are their
Once a man has been pigeonholed in such a way, it's
hard for him to get out. The only way for him to
break from this "friend" trap is to
reinvent himself, which is unhealthy anyway, since he
will be manifesting an untruthful image of himself.
Besides, guys shouldn't believe a woman when she
says, "I just want to be friends." It only
means she doesn't want to sleep with them.
Furthermore, college women do not want some guy who
is caring and sensitive. That's what they say they
want, not what their gut tells them to go for. The
caring and sensitive man is "friend
material" for women. That is, they have been
emasculated in the eyes of that woman and might as
well be wearing a dress and lipstick.
In the dating world, the word "friend" is
tantamount to the word "eunuch." Women
instinctually want a strong man, someone who will
take care of them. This comes from sublime messages
in the media. Men who are aloof, distant, mysterious
and somewhat aggressive, yet kind, are most
frequently the type that women want. In other words,
an unavailable jerk.
The truth is that most women are ambivalent in their
desires. In fact, I'd wager that most college-aged
women, or girls, haven't got the foggiest clue what
they want in a man. That type of information just
isn't included in the university curriculum.
Finally, it does not matter if a woman just wants to
be friends. Just be her friend and find someone else.
Simply have fun with the woman and have sex with
someone else. Incidentally, this puts you in the
unavailable category, thus more attractive. The main
point is if one woman says "no" there will
always be another that says "yes." So guys,
quit whining and find someone who will have sex with